How Brains Over Barks Started
I started Brains Over Barks because when Grizzy, my husband, and I were drowning in separation anxiety chaos, we couldn't find the kind of real, honest support we desperately needed without it hiding behind a tall paywall. Every resource seemed to either oversimplify the problem ("just ignore the barking!") or required hundreds of dollars upfront for information that should be accessible to every struggling dog parent.
I am not a certified dog trainer or behaviorist. I'm a UX Designer and content creator with a BA in Psychology who became obsessed with understanding how my dog's brain works, determined to figure out this debilitating problem for him and for us. I'm just a dog parent who's been in your shoes — full of guilt and fear, researching at 2am, wondering if we'd ever figure this out.
It wasn’t long ago, when I was consistently feeling like a prisoner in my own home. Our date nights disappeared, we could no longer go to social functions together, and the lingering fear persisted — wondering if we’d ever figure this thing out. The anxiety that crept into every aspect of our lives unfortunately became our life.
The Man of The Hour: Meet Grizzy
We rescued Grizzy from The Bond Between (formerly SecondHand Hounds) in Minneapolis, MN. He's a cute, fluffy mixed breed — primarily Poodle, Boxer, and Weimaraner — with separation anxiety that was present from day one. He wasn't just uncomfortable being alone in a different room; he needed to be touching us at all times. Two seconds alone was his absolute limit.
In those early days, Grizzy would be sound alseep laying in his bed, and the second one of us got up to refill our coffee, go to the bathroom, etc., he’d jolt out of his sleep, panic running through his little body, hoping and praying we weren’t leaving him for good.
It completely broke our hearts imagining what he must have endured in those early weeks… what could have happened to leave such deep wounds in such small, innocent creature 💔.
When we realized the mountain we had to climb, it was honestly terrifying. But we were committed to helping him, no matter what it took.
The Long, Winding Road
I’m not going to sugarcoat it. It took us a year and a half of struggle before we found what actually worked.
A year and a half of trying incorrect methods, working with mismatched trainers, and feeling like we were spinning our wheels. The progress was painfully slow and the methods we tried just didn’t seem to work. There were a lot of tears and plenty of days when I wondered if we'd ever get our freedom back.
We tried everything in the beginning, desperate to fix this issue as fast as humanly possible.
None of it addressed the root issue: Grizzy's brain was in panic mode when we left. Separation anxiety isn't a training problem; it's a panic disorder, clinically recognized by the veterinary community. His fear response was firing on all cylinders, and no amount of "toughing it out" or desensitization was going to fix that alone.
What Finally Worked
Our turning point came when we discovered classical conditioning and the right tools to support it.
After a conversation we had with my husband’s cousin, who is a vet, she recommended we try using the Treat and Train remote feeder and working through the Pleasantly Independent handbook by Jenn Gavin, BA, CPDT-KA. So, we bought the new machine and handbook and got to work! This approach didn't just mask the symptoms, it helped rewire Grizzy's brain to understand that us leaving meant good things were coming.
But the real game-changer? Finding the right professional trainer to hold our hand through it all. We struck gold with a local trainer who specialized in all things anxiety and could observe Grizzy live, providing customized tweaks based on his specific flavor, if you will, of anxiety.
She helped us tackle not just the separation anxiety, but his other anxieties too — door greetings, guests in our home, and mild leash reactivity. She taught us about pre-departure cues (like how Grizzy would get anxious the moment I put on jeans or grabbed our keys) and how to desensitize him to those triggers before we even started departure training.
The first real "win"? Watching Grizzy actually relax in front of the Treat and Train without frantically looking for us at the door or windows for TEN whole minutes. It was a small moment that felt monumental.
After we found this successful mixture of training professionals and tools, it took us 6 months to reach Grizzy being alone comfortably for 3 hours!
What I've Learned (The Hard Way)
Through this journey, I've learned that:
Quick fixes don't exist for separation anxiety. If someone promises you'll solve SA in a week, they're selling you something. Real progress requires time, energy, effort, and consistency. There are no shortcuts, unfortunately.
Classical conditioning changes everything. Not only does it speed things up compared to traditional desensitization techniques, but it actually helps rewire your dog's brain. When your dog learns that your departure predicts treats, you're building positive associations instead of just trying to reduce fear.
Every dog is different. One-size-fits-all approaches rarely work. You need to watch for your dog's unique signs and triggers, and adjust accordingly. Trust your gut and pay attention to what your dog is telling you.
Professional help is worth it. A certified trainer who specializes in separation anxiety and can observe your specific dog's behaviors will give you customized advice that generic programs simply can't provide.
Sometimes, medication is the answer. We were fortunate that Grizzy didn't need situational meds, but there's no shame in it. For severe anxiety, it can be the key that unlocks progress! Our vet's analogy struck us deeply: Picture yourself mid-panic attack, locked in a room, forced to tackle calculus. That's what we're asking of an anxious dog when we expect them to process training while terrified. Sometimes medication isn't giving up, it's actually giving your dog a fighting chance! Speak with your vet about options like Trazodone or Gabapentin if you've simply hit a wall.
The emotional toll is real. Things can get dark, really dark, for a while. I wish someone had told me on day one to step back from the anxiety spiral and remember why I fell in love with Grizzy in the first place. Building trust and finding joy through activities you both love isn't just nice to have; it's essential for mentally surviving the tough days. Your dog's separation anxiety is just one piece of who they are, not their entire identity.
When you're feeling overwhelmed, try to focus on the good, as hard as it can be. The silly moments, the cuddles, the personality quirks that make you smile. These can help reset your perspective and remind you that you're not just "fixing a problem." You're helping someone you love.
My Mission with Brains Over Barks
I spent so much money and time in the beginning desperately searching for answers. Good information about separation anxiety shouldn't be locked behind paywalls or buried in expensive programs. I was looking for someone to fully explain everything — what SA actually is, what works and what doesn't, the emotional side of the journey. I needed a community to lean on when things got tough and to celebrate with when we hit our goals.
This website is that resource. I want to share what I've learned — the science behind separation anxiety as a panic disorder, the techniques that actually work, the expensive mistakes to avoid — so you don't have to spend 18 months and hundreds of dollars, feeling helpless and figuring it out alone.
We share our journey with one hope: that it might help another dog and their person break free. If it does, even once, everything we've been through will have mattered.
What You'll Find Here
Think of Brains Over Barks as your cozy corner of the internet where you can take a deep breath, feel understood, and remember that progress isn't always linear. You'll find:
Practical, research-backed information about separation anxiety as a panic disorder
Honest guidance on what works (classical conditioning, the Treat and Train, pre-departure cue desensitization) and what doesn't
Help navigating the process of finding the right professional support
Real talk about the emotional journey and how to stay sane through it
A reminder that you're not alone in this!
Some days with separation anxiety are wins, and some days you just survive — and both are perfectly okay.
Where We Are Now
These days, Grizzy can handle being alone for THREE whole hours. We're not perfect, and we still have our limitations, but we're in such a better place than we were. Grizzy has taught us more about patience, the power of understanding how a brain works under panic, and celebrating small victories than we ever expected. He's also shown us that dogs with separation anxiety aren't "broken" — their brains are just wired differently, and they need an approach that respects that.
If you're here because you're struggling, I see you. I've been there. And I promise you — with the right approach, there is hope on the other side of this. Trust the process, listen to your dog, and be patient with both of you.
XO, Annamarie & Grizzy