How to Fit Separation Anxiety Training into Your Schedule (Without Losing Your Mind)
So you've decided to tackle your dog's separation anxiety. You've read about the process, you understand it's going to take time, and you're ready to commit.
But here's the thing nobody tells you: The hardest part isn't the training itself — it's figuring out how to fit it into your actual life.
When my husband and I started working with Grizzy, we had the handbook, the tools, the determination... but we were completely lost on how to actually start. We were struggling weekly to figure out how this fits into our daily routines. Most importantly, how to stay consistent with it.
This post is the step-by-step guide I wish I'd had.
Your Timeline Reality Check
Let's talk about what you're actually signing up for. Yes, this will feel like A LOT at first. I won't lie — there's a painful learning curve. But once you figure out how to weave this into your routine, it becomes as automatic as your morning coffee.
The Prep Phase: 2-4 Weeks
Gathering materials (1 week): Ordering your Treat & Train, getting the Pleasantly Independent handbook, finding high-value treats
Pre-departure cue desensitization (2-4 weeks): Practicing picking up keys, putting on shoes, and generally confusing your dog
Real talk: Don't skip the prep work. If your dog is already anxious when you grab your keys, your departure training is starting from behind.
The Active Training Phase: 3-6+ Months
Weeks 1-4: Building from seconds to 1-2 minutes
Months 2-3: Getting to that magical 30-minute mark
Month 4+: Building to an hour and beyond
For Grizzy, it took us 3 months to hit 30 minutes. Some dogs take longer, some move faster. There's no "right" timeline — only your dog's timeline.
Step 1: The Honest Audit (Do This First)
Before you order anything, get brutally honest about your life. And I mean, brutally honest.
Your Schedule Reality
How many days per week can you realistically train? (4-5 days is better than planning 7 and doing 2)
What times of the day will work?
What's happening in the next 3 months that will affect training?
Who else lives with you, and are they on board?
Your Support System
Who can dog-sit during your own necessary departures?
Where can you bring your dog (e.g., daycare) when you need to leave?
Who can you text when you're frustrated at 10pm?
Who will celebrate wins with you?
Your Energy Management
Take my word for it – This training is emotionally exhausting. Be honest about your mental health bandwidth right now. If you're already running on empty, factor in more rest days. You can always adjust once you get into more of a flow!
Step 2: Gather Your Materials (Week 1)
Order Immediately
Treat & Train - Non-negotiable, Buy here (~$180)
Pleasantly Independent Handbook by Jenn Gavin - Digital download on Etsy ($24.99)
Camera/Monitoring Setup - Any pet camera works. Aim to get as many as makes sense for the area at which you are planning to use for departures. In the beginning, we set up one camera in our entry way (where we put the Treat and Train) and another in our living room where our dog likes to lounge. ($30-100)
Get This Week
High-Value Treats - Something your dog will LOSE THEIR MIND over. For Grizzy: Pupford freeze-dried salmon and rabbit treats, plus plain Cheerios. Quick note: The Treat & Train comes with two discs for different treat sizes, so test to make sure your treats will fit before training day ($20-40)
Brains Over Barks SA Training Tracker - Free download, designed to work alongside the handbook
Total Budget: ~$250-350
Training Prep
The following steps (3-8) are mapped out in way more detail inside the free ‘Separation Anxiety Tracker’ I created. This thing will keep you organized, accountable, and consistent — which is honestly half the battle.
You can download yours for free here!
Step 3: The Baseline Assessment (Week 1-2)
While waiting for your training materials to arrive, use your ‘Free Separation Anxiety Tracker’ to begin observing your dog and figuring out those pre-departure anxiety triggers:
Current tolerance: How long can they be alone right now without stress?
Stress signals:
Pacing, panting (when not hot/tired)
Whining or barking
Destructive behavior
Not eating treats (big red flag)
Following you constantly
Dilated pupils
Pre-departure triggers:
Picking up keys, putting on shoes
Getting dressed in "real" clothes
Grabbing your bag, putting on makeup
That specific sigh you do before leaving (yes, I’m dead serious)
Write all of this down in Section 1 of your Brains Over Bark tracker.
Step 4: Pre-Departure Desensitization (Weeks 2-4+)
Before actual departure training, you need to break those trigger associations.
How This Works
Pick ONE cue to start with
Do that action 5-10 times throughout the day
Don't actually leave after doing it
Just... be weird about it
Examples from our training:
Keys: Pick them up, jingle them, set them down, make coffee
Jacket: Put it on, sit on couch, scroll phone for 20 minutes
Getting Ready: Full routine, then just worked from home all day in "going out" clothes
You're Ready to Move On When
Your dog doesn't even look up when you do the trigger action. Use Section 3 of the tracker to log progress.
For us: About 3 weeks. For you: Could be 2-6 weeks.
Step 5: Create Your Training Schedule
Before your first training session, you need a PLAN. If you wing it, you won't do it.
Sunday Planning Sessions
Pick one day a week to plan your training. Use Section 4 of the tracker.
What to plan:
Which days you'll train (4-5 days max)
What time each session happens
What step you're working on
Your rest day (at least one per week)
Any conflicts (visitors, appointments)
Example Week:
Monday: 8-9am, Step 1, 5+ reps
Tuesday: Rest day
Wednesday: 6-7pm, Step 1, 5+ reps
Thursday: 8-9am, Step 2, 5+ reps
Friday: 6-7pm, Step 2, 5+ reps
Saturday: 9-10am, Step 3, 5+ reps
Sunday: Plan next week
Treat It Like a Calendar Appointment
Put training sessions in your calendar with notifications. I treated it like any other commitment. Because it is! And is arguably the most important commitment.
Plan for Departures You HAVE to Make
Arrange dog sitting
Use doggy daycare
Have a friend or neighbor come over
Don't just leave your anxious dog alone and hope for the best — that's how you undo all your hard work. Dogs regress when pushed too fast, and yes, they can recover, but it means weeks of careful rebuilding. Read more about regression here.
Trust me, it's way easier to just plan around it from the start.
Step 6: Protect Your Joy
About 6 weeks into training, I realized I'd started to [sadly] resent Grizzy. Every moment together was about his anxiety.
Let me say it loud for the folks in back — Your dog is more than their anxiety. Please make sure you're still having fun together!
Use Section 5 of the tracker to plan ONE joyful thing each week. It can be obsurdly simple!
Sniffari walks (letting them lead and sniff everything)
Teaching fun tricks
Pup cup runs
Hide and seek with treats
Cuddle sessions on the couch watching your favorite movie
A yummy treat to share together (greek yogurt and fruit is our favorite!)
This isn't optional! This is what keeps you from burning out.
Step 7: Your First Training Session
The Setup
Activate the Treat & Train with treats loaded
Start your camera
Have your Pleasantly Independent handbook ready to log
Set a timer
Take a deep breath
The Pattern (Never Changes)
Activate Treat & Train
Do the first action/departure outlined for your in your Pleasantly Independent Handbook
Watch on camera: Is dog calm and eating treats?
Yes: Return, turn off Treat & Train, take a break
No: You went too far. Take is slower or go back to the previous step
Repeat 5-10 times per session
Log it in your handbook — done!
Ready to Progress When:
Dog doesn't look up when you move
Stays relaxed and engaged with treats
No stress signals
You Went Too Far When:
Dog stops eating treats
Gets up to follow you
Shows stress signals
Go back to the last successful step and spend more time there.
Step 8: The Weekly Rhythm
Sunday (Planning Day)
Review last week's progress
Fill out Weekly Planner in tracker
Plan joy activity
Prep training space
Training Days (4-5 Days/Week)
30-60 minute sessions (setup + multiple reps + breaks)
Log each session in handbook
Note dog's response
Rest Days (1-2 Days/Week)
No training
Normal dog stuff
Your dog's brain consolidates learning
Your brain doesn't explode
End of Week
Reflect using tracker Section 4
Add wins to Section 6 (Wins Wall)
Adjust next week's plan
Common Planning Pitfalls
Planning too ambitiously: Plan 4 days/week max, not 7. Sustainability > intensity. You can always ramp it up later!
Not planning for real life: Look at your actual calendar. Plan around your real commitments.
Skipping pre-departure work: Do the prep. It's not sexy, but it's necessary.
Not tracking progress: Use the trackers. You won't remember what happened two weeks ago.
Training when you can't actually train: Only train when you have no time pressure.
What to Do When You Miss Sessions
If You Miss 1-2 Days
No big deal, pick up where you left off
Don't try to "make up" sessions
No guilt
If You Miss a Whole Week
Take a breath — it's okay (I have been there multiple times, such is life)
Do a quick refresher
Start back one step earlier
Don't abandon the plan
If You Need a Break
Sometimes life is too much
Pause for a week or two
Your progress won't completely disappear
Come back when you're ready
Don't let one missed session spiral into quitting entirely.
Your [Likely] Month-by-Month Guide
Week 1: Standing up, taking a step, moving toward door
Week 2: Touching doorknob, opening door slightly
Week 3: Stepping outside, closing door (2-5 seconds)
Week 4: Building duration (5-30 seconds)
Months 2-3: Working up to 30 minutes
Month 4+: Building to an hour and beyond
Everyone's timeline is different, but this gives you an idea.
Celebrate Milestones
Put these in your calendar NOW:
First step outside: Celebrate
1 minute alone: Celebrate
5 minutes: Celebrate
30 minutes: Pop champagne (we did!)
1 hour: Celebrate BIG
You need these moments of joy to sustain you.
Your Starting Line Checklist
Before You Begin:
Completed honest audit
Identified support system
Ordered Treat & Train and handbook
Got high-value treats
Downloaded Brains Over Barks tracker
Set up camera
Assessed dog's baseline
Listed pre-departure cues
Pre-Departure Phase:
Working through pre-departure cues
Logging in Section 3 of tracker
Dog less reactive to triggers
Introduced Treat & Train
Dog loves the Treat & Train
Ready for Active Training:
Completed first Sunday planning session
Training days in calendar
Rest days planned
Joy activities planned
Training space set up
Handbook ready
Final Real Talk
To start, this is going to be harder than you think. Not because the training is complicated, but because consistency is exhausting.
You will want to quit. Multiple times. When you're at Week 6 and still working on 2-minute departures, you'll definitely want to quit.
Your dog is worth it. The ability to run to the store, to go to dinner with friends, to live your life without your dog in crisis — it's worth it.
You're not alone. Thousands of dogs have overcome separation anxiety. Grizzy did it! Your dog can too.
Take it one step at a time. Start with Week 1. Just the prep phase. Order the materials. Do the honest audit. Print the tracker. Take it one week at a time.
Ready to start? Download the free Brains Over Barks SA Training Tracker here and join our community of dog owners figuring this out together.
Got questions? Drop them in the comments. I read and respond to every single one, because I remember how lost I felt at the beginning!
Now go give your anxious pup a snuggle and remind yourself why you're about to embark on this journey. Because they are worth it. 💙
— Annamarie & Grizzy
