How to Survive the Holidays with a Separation Anxiety Dog
The holidays are coming. You've got holiday parties, family gatherings, and maybe even some overnight trips on the calendar. And if you're like me with Grizzy, you're probably looking at that calendar with a mix of excitement and low-key panic.
Because here's the thing nobody tells you about having a dog with separation anxiety during the holidays: it's not just about your dog's progress. It's about managing everyone's expectations — including your own.
So let's talk real strategy. Not the "just bring your dog everywhere" kind (because let's be honest, Aunt Carol's house is not dog-friendly). The actual, practical stuff that helped us navigate the chaos without sacrificing Grizzy's progress or our sanity.
Start Planning NOW: Can You Squeeze in More Reps?
Look at your calendar right now. Be honest about how much time you have between today and your first big holiday event.
If you've got three weeks? Great. You might have time to level up your dog's duration before the holidays hit. If you've only got a week, that's information too — and it changes your game plan.
Here's what to figure out:
How much practice time do you realistically have before things get hectic?
What's your current baseline duration?
Where would you ideally want to be by party day?
I'm not saying you need to work miracles here. But if Grizzy could handle 30 minutes and we had three weeks to practice, we'd aim for 60-75 minutes by the time we needed to head out. That cushion made a huge difference.
The key word here is realistic. Don't set yourself up to fail by expecting your anxious dog to suddenly handle four hours alone just because it's Christmas.
The Week Before: Keep Your Practice Reps Sacred
This is where things get tricky, because the week before any big holiday is usually utter chaos. Last-minute shopping. Wrapping presents. Baking cookies at 11PM. All the things.
But here's your mission, should you choose to accept it: Keep. Your. Training. On. Track.
I know. I KNOW. It feels impossible. But this is not the week to skip your departure practice because you need to run to Target for the third time…
Why? Because your dog doesn't know it's the holidays lol. They just know that the routine they've been learning suddenly disappeared, and now they're confused and possibly regressing right when you need them to hold it together.
Some ways we protected our training time:
Set phone reminders for daily practice sessions
Did departures in the morning before the day got away from us
Combined errands into bigger trips instead of multiple small ones
Said "no" to some commitments (yes, really)
Think of it like this: Would you skip brushing your teeth all week because you're busy? Nah. Your dog's training is just as non-negotiable right now.
Accept Your Reality (Even If It's Not Instagram Perfect)
Real talk time: Where is your dog actually at right now?
Not where you wish they were. Not where they "should" be after X weeks of training. Where are they actually at?
Because if your dog can handle 45 minutes alone and the holiday party is a 3-hour event, you need to make peace with that gap. Right now. And start planning around it before you're standing in someone's living room calculating whether you can "just push it a little longer."
(Spoiler alert: You can't. You'll just undo weeks of progress and feel terrible about it.)
So what do you do instead? You make a plan and communicate it.
Tell your partner, your family, the host — whoever needs to know — that you're leaving early ahead of time. Not "maybe" leaving early. Not "we'll see how it goes." You ARE leaving early, and here's approximately when.
Yes, some people might not get it or give you shit about it. That's okay. Grizzy's progress is more important than your aunt’s feelings about leaving before dessert.
I've found that when you frame it matter-of-factly ("We're working through separation anxiety training with our dog, so we'll need to head out around 7pm"), most people are actually pretty understanding. And the ones who aren't? Well, that's a them problem. And they can deal.
Explore Other Options for Your Pup
Okay, so maybe you've looked at your dog's current duration and the reality is: there's just too big of a gap between what they can handle and what you need for the holidays.
That's when it's time to get creative.
Some options that might work:
Doggy Daycare - If your dog already goes to daycare and loves it, the holidays might be the perfect time to use it. Yes, even on Christmas Eve. Many daycares offer holiday hours specifically for situations like this. Your dog gets to play with their buddies, you get to enjoy your event without watching the clock, and everyone wins.
A Familiar Person's House - Does your dog have a favorite aunt, grandparent, or friend they're already comfortable with? Sometimes staying somewhere familiar with someone they trust is less stressful than being home alone during the weird, disrupted holiday routine
Bring Them Along - I know, I know. I said Aunt Carol's house isn't dog-friendly. But maybe your best friend's Friendsgiving actually is. If there's an event where your dog is genuinely welcome and you know they'll be comfortable (and won’t add to your stress of enjoying said event), that might be your answer
A Pet Sitter at Your Place - For some dogs, having someone come stay at the house is the sweet spot. They're in their familiar environment but not alone. This can be especially helpful if you're doing an overnight trip
The key question to ask yourself: What arrangement will cause the least stress for my dog while still allowing me to participate in the holidays?
For us with Grizzy, we realized that his regular daycare was actually less stressful for him than being home during the chaos of holiday prep. We were stressed and running around and our whole routine was off. Daycare meant he got to stick to his normal routine even when ours was a mess leading up to the event.
Here's what matters: Whatever option you choose should be something your dog is already familiar and comfortable with.
The holidays are not the time to try out a new daycare, introduce them to a new pet sitter, or see if maybe they'll be okay at a stranger's house for the first time.
Use resources that are already in your dog's comfort zone. This is about making things easier, not adding more variables to an already complicated situation.
The Two-Car Strategy: Your Secret Weapon
If you share your dog with a partner or roommate, this one's a game-changer: Drive separately.
I know it feels odd. You're going to the same place, it’s wasteful, and you like riding together!
But here's why it matters: When one of you needs to leave to get home to your dog, the other person isn't trapped. They can stay, enjoy themselves, and not feel rushed or resentful.
Plus, it takes the pressure off both of you. There's no negotiating in the coat closet about whether "just another 20 minutes" will be fine. There's no guilt-tripping. One person just quietly heads out when it's time, and everyone's stress level stays manageable.
For us, this usually meant I'd stay longer at events with my side of the family/friends while my husband headed home to Grizzy and vice versa. Having that flexibility made holiday gatherings actually enjoyable instead of anxiety-inducing countdowns.
Please by all Means, Don't Use the Party as a Test Run
Listen, I know it's tempting. You've been working so hard. Your dog has made so much progress. And you're thinking, "Maybe this party is where we find out they can actually handle three hours alone!"
Please. Don't do this to yourself.
The holidays are already emotionally loaded. You're stressed. Your dog picks up on your stress. Everyone's routine is off. The house smells different. There might be weird decorations that freak your dog out.
This is not the time to push boundaries and "see what happens."
You know what happens when you stretch your separation anxiety dog past their threshold during the holidays? They panic. You panic. You leave the party early anyway, but now your dog has had a setback and you feel like garbage.
Speaking from experience – it isn’t pleasant for anyone involved. Just don’t do it.
Testing new durations is for random Tuesday mornings when you're calm, you've got nowhere to be, and you can respond immediately if things go south. Not for events where you're emotionally invested and far from home.
Think of holiday gatherings as "maintenance mode." Your job is to keep your dog comfortable and maintain the progress you've already made. Pushing for new milestones can wait until January.
Your Holiday Survival Checklist
Here's what actually matters:
Plan your training schedule before holiday chaos hits
Protect your daily practice reps like they're sacred (because they are)
Get crystal clear on your dog's actual duration limits
Communicate your departure plans ahead of time
Drive separately if possible
Treat holiday events as maintenance, not tests
Give yourself permission to leave early without guilt
Don’t go to the event if you legit cannot make it work this year!
The Bottom Line
The holidays with a separation anxiety dog aren't going to look like everyone else's holidays. And that's okay.
You might leave parties early. You might turn down invitations. You might choose a quiet night at home over a big gathering. These aren't failures — they're strategic decisions that honor the work you're doing with your dog.
Grizzy and I have been through a couple of holiday seasons now, and I can tell you: It gets easier. Not because the holidays change, but because you get better at planning, better at saying no, and better at not feeling guilty about either one.
Here's the truth: This is temporary.
My husband and I made ourselves a promise last year. We used our situation as fuel to really commit to training so that the holidays were something to look forward to instead of dread. And honestly? It worked.
If someone had told me last December that we'd be confidently planning a four-hour Christmas visit to my parents' this year, I would've called them delusional. But that's our reality now. Grizzy can stay home alone without falling apart, and it's 100% because we stuck with the training, even when it sucked.
The same will happen for you. You will get there with your dog.
I know this might not be the holiday season you envisioned. Maybe you're looking at everyone else's picture-perfect celebrations and feeling like you're missing out. I've been there, and it can feel pretty freaking hopeless. But here's what I need you to remember: You're not failing. You're in the process of building something that lasts.
And about the people who don't get it? The holidays are supposed to be about celebrating with people you love. Real love isn't conditional. It doesn't come with a "but only if you abandon your dog's training to stay for pie" clause. If someone's going to admonish you because you're leaving early or skipping an event to take care of your dog? That ain't true love, my friend. The people who actually matter will understand. The rest? Not your problem.
Look, your dog won the lottery when they got you. And you know what? The best gift you can give both of you this season is permission to do things your way — no guilt, no apologies. This leaving-parties-early phase isn't forever. You're showing up for your dog in ways that actually matter, and that's something to be proud of.
You've got this. (And so does your dog.)
Have your own holiday survival tips for separation anxiety dogs? Drop them in the comments — we're all figuring this out together. XO, Annamarie
